Recipe: John’s Evil Mashed Potatoes

John's Evil Mashed Potatoes (not to scale)
Need some comfort food? This is about as good as it gets.

OK, I’ve been asked over and over how to do this, so one of my first additions to this site is a recipe I developed a few years ago and have been refining ever since.  It’s not complicated, it’s not difficult, it’s not expensive, and it’s NOT fat-free!  Don’t worry – it’s not that evil either.

John’s Evil Mashed Potatoes


  • 5lb bag of whole red potatoes
  • 20-25 whole cloves of garlic, peeled
  • 1 brick of regular cream cheese (NOT reduced-fat or fat-free)
  • 2 sticks of butter
  • 1 medium Vidalia sweet onion, finely diced
  • 2 tbsp of dried parsley
  • Salt and pepper to taste (about 1 tbsp of each works well)
  • 1/2 cup of finely grated cheddar or Romano cheese

Slice the entire bag of potatoes, skin-on, into 1/2 inch slices and boil in a large pot of salted water with the cloves of garlic.  You can put in the garlic about 5 minutes after the potatoes to make them a bit stronger, if desired.  Boil until a sharp knife will easily move through the potatoes, about 15-20 minutes.

While the potatoes and garlic are boiling, skin and finely dice your onion and saute it over medium heat in a non-stick pan with some butter or olive oil.  You need to cook the onion until it turns translucent with some browning (about 4-5 minutes).  Take it off the heat and set it aside.

Drain the pot of potatoes/garlic through a fine strainer and place back into the pot.  Add the cream cheese, butter, onion, parsley, salt, and pepper into the pot and start mashing.  Mash to desired consistency, although chunky is my preference.  Try it as this point to see if you need more salt or pepper, then top it with the grated cheese.  Done!  Serves a whole lot of people.